by Jan Paul
1. Which sentence most correctly uses the term jumbo?
A. Yeah, give me one of them jumbo fish sandwiches.
B. I’ll take half a pound (PAHND) of jumbo.
C. Yinz see that jumbo pass Ben threw to Hines yesterday? Of course yinz did, yinz were watchin’ the Stillers.
2. Pittsburgh left refers to:
A. An arguably crude motorist making a left turn without a green arrow and without yielding to oncoming traffic
B. The secret weapon of the Steelers offense
C. What, confusingly, the rest of the English-speaking world refers to as right
C. Pardon me?
4. Which period of years was the city’s name officially spelled Pittsburg?
5. Fries and cole slaw may be requested on the side at Primanti’s restaurants.
6. Correctly pronounce this statement:
Turn at the next traffic light and go downtown, where you can wash your clothes and buy some kielbasa.
7. Which of these is not a Pittsburgh neighborhood:
B. North Versailles (VER-SALES)
0-2 correct: Sorry, but you must be from Cleveland or somewhere like that. Really, I’m sorry.
3-5 correct: Close, but no halushki. Keep studying slurring words together, and you’ll eventually reach your dream of total Pittsburghness.
6-7 correct: Consider yourself a true yinzer! Or you are just good at guessing. Either way, treat yourself to a pop.
1. B. Jumbo refers to a processed meat product, synonymous to bo-LOG-na. Although, Pittsburghers do love their jumbo-sized fish sandwiches.
2. A. It’s only a Pittsburgh left if you’re in the areas surrounding Pittsburgh. In Pittsburgh proper its just called a left.
3. A. Pierogies are delightful a stuffed pasta hailing from central and eastern Europe. Residents of the “Burgh take their pierogies quite seriously; every home game of the Pirates features pierogie-costumed racers taking a lap around the field.
4. C. From 1891-1911 Pittsburgh dropped the “h” from its moniker, much to the ire of yinzers, after the federal government attempted to standardize municipality names. The decision was reversed in 1911. Pittsburgh, PA > Pittsburg, CA
5. A. Yes, sad, but true. Not recommended however; every time someone does this, somewhere a little old lady in a Steelers jersey dies a little.
6. Turn at the next traffic light (RED-LIGHT*) and go downtown (DAHN-TAHN), where you can wash (WORSH) your clothes and buy some kielbasa (KOH-BAH-SEE).
*True Pittsburghers consider all traffic lights as red lights for some reason, and will not distinguish between the two.
7. B. North Versailles ( pronounced locally as Vur-Saylz, dispensing with overly-refined and unnecessarily French pronunciation) is located at 40°22′49″N 79°48′37″W (well outside the city limits of Pittsburgh). Southside (Sahside) and East Liberty (Sliberty) are Pittsburgh neighborhoods.